A la Carte

I have been pondering how to write this blog for quite some time now. The thought originally came about a month ago. I was angry then and decided to table it to another time. Saturday night a comment was made that let me know it was time.

I'll start by saying I have a certain fondness for a la carte meals. I love the idea of being able to pick and choose what I want to eat. In that sense there is an almost limitless variety of choices. It is favorable to many because we want what we want when we want it. The idea of picking and choosing is quite enticing. Clearly I think that a la carte has it's place.

A la carte has no place in a spiritual walk. You can't just pick and choose what you will consume. You can't go to your pastor for him to speak healing and prosperity in your life on Sunday and run to your girlfriends to speak over your personal life on Monday. You can't decide to go from person to person picking up favorable words in a la carte fashion. The pastor says, "You will be healed." You say, "I believe". The pastor says you will get a new job. You say, "I believe". The pastor says this is your year. You say, "I believe". The entire time these things are transpiring you are met with support and amens from your friends. Yet the minute it turns personal and he says "he's the one", the very same friends decide that the plate that you've been eating from needs some variety. They decide it is ok to encourage you to believe everything except what the man of God says. They begin with, did you ask this person? Did you ask that person? Oh, well if you ask me I don't believe that will work out. They go as far as to question whether your pastor is a false prophet. They do so openly and without thought of what they're saying because I usually just stare at them wondering what spirit they are of.

I can't do that anymore. I believe that if you believe your man or woman of God then that's the end of it. You believe them until YOU no longer have reason to and that reason shouldn't come via conversation with anyone except God. I'm tired of people who feel like it's ok to say any and everything to me about pastors who God has used to positively affect my life. I came to know God under pastor G.I Bradley. I came to truly love God under Bishop Henry L. Porter. And I am growing in my service to God under pastor DeWayne Harvey. These are the men that God has set forth to shepherd my life. I don't believe that either of them are without fault. I do believe that they are all men of God who speak the word of God. If you believe otherwise, do me a big favor and tell someone who cares. That would not be me.

He Loved Me When I Didn't Know How to Love Myself

Earlier today I told a friend that I believed God, but I couldn't believe that he would pick me. The reason I made that statement doesn't really matter. It was true then and it is true now. I'm sitting here thinking about my day and how nothing seemed to go as planned. I woke up, got dressed, and went to a meeting that had already taken place. I went to the wrong store to get a gift for an upcoming wedding. I found the perfect scent only to discover that it was designed for men. I sought encouragement only to be shut down. In the natural it would seem that I had a bad day.
Thank God I am not operating in the natural

A few minutes ago I realized that this morning's statement and the days events helped me to get to a place of thanks. I could easily gripe about the day, but all I can think is He loves me. He's always loved me. I remember in high school I was always searching for something. I needed to be in charge. I needed to fit in. I needed acceptance. I was so critical of myself (I still am). I couldn't see how anyone could love me because I had so many flaws. I always seemed to be getting something wrong. It was kind of like what happened today. I couldn't see the right in it all when it was happening, but I serve of God who loves me and He continues to remind me that everything I am is good enough for Him.

It's alright with Him that I missed the meeting. All week as I prepared for it, my mind was focused on Him. It was alright that I went to the wrong store. He used me to touch the new people I met in my travels. The disappointment about the fragrance..... I think I wouldn't have been so disappointed if he would have understood the reason for my excitement. This too is alright because it reminded me that I haven't been praying for us the way that I should. Each situation had the potential to begin and end badly. I thank God that I can see how it was all meant for my good.