What Are You Going To Do With Your One & Only Life?

This morning has been the kind where God spent so much time talking to me through the t.v. No, I wasn't watching Joel Osteen or Joyce Meyer or any other religious program for that matter. It started at midnight when I woke up and started watching Stomp the Yard. I don't really care for the movie, but Columbus Short isn't bad on the eyes. The movie made me think of UCF and what it was like when I became an AKA. It reminded me that being in a sorority meant something to me once. Then, I watcthed HGTV, parts of The Pursuit of Happyness, and last but not least Won't Back Down. By the close of the last movie, I was convinced that I was missing out on some things.

I went to UCF and boldly declared a major in creative writing because writing made me feel alive. I had so many thoughts in my head. Love stories and songs, mysteries, autobiographical novels. I was going to take the world by storm like Zora Neale Hurston or Maya Angelou. I had such huge dreams. But, I graduated with no job and no money. I felt like an utter and complete failure. I wanted to be a writer so bad that I forgot I already was. I forgot the way it felt just to put the words together. I forgot that writing was what was in me whether I got paid to do it or not.

I became a teacher on purpose. I needed a job, I had experience with kids, and I wanted the summer off. I became a teacher so that people would stop asking me what I was supposed to do with a degree in English. No one from my neighborhood was a writer. No one understood what it meant to just want to do what you loved. My dad worked. My mom worked. I dreamed. But, I needed a job.

The first day of my life as a teacher was life changing. I did not fall in love with teaching. I fell in love with Amanda, Mary, and Donnita. My first group of girls helped to ease the transition. I loved them so I taught them about poetry. I shared my love for words with them and in many ways I was pacified. But, I didn't love teaching. I went to work year after year hoping that I would love the process the way I loved the kids. It didn't happen until last year when I decided to go back to school. My last weeks at GMS were bittersweet. I wanted to leave, but after I told my kids, my mind went back to the first day. The day when I thought being a teacher killed my dream of being a writer. I loved the kids and not the job because the job took something from me. Only, it hadn't. Being a teacher gave me 7 years of love, laughter, a few headaches, a patch of grey hair, and in those last days tears. I abandoned my dream because I needed a job. It wasn't my mom's fault, my dad's, or my kids. It was a choice that I made. A choice that I am so glad can be undone. I started writing this because I realized I was meant to teach. I thought that I would write on that epiphany, but right smack in the middle of it was another aha. I am a writer. I am a teacher. I am a cook. I am a baker. I am a minister. I am a counselor. A year from now LSU will add to that I am a social worker (although my last principal informed me that I was a social worker the minute I started teaching). Not one of these exists without the influence of the other and finally I am alright with that. So I say to you, do not abandon your dream whatever it might be. You can be more than one "I am" all at once.

Adayinthelife:-)

Life Is A Fairytale

I know the title might throw you off; however, the truth of the matter is, the life of a Christian is indeed a fairytale. A fairytale is a story in which improbable events lead to a happy ending. Take for example the story of Cinderella who is a young girl who loses her parents and finds herself at the mercy of an evil stepmother and 2 stepsisters. Her days were spent cleaning for and taking abuse from the ones who she thought would love and support her. Eventually, Cinderella gets her improbable ending when she marries the prince also known as the man of her dreams. She knew of him, but they didn't have a relationship.The weapons that were being used against her were her family, her own self doubt, and her lack of available resources. When I point out the things that were against her, it is easier to see how she is just like any one of us. But, when I thought of life is a fairytale I thought of Joseph. The weapons against him included being taken from his parents, sold into slavery by his siblings, and placed in situation after situation that looked like the end would be defeat. His story had a happy ending as well because of a relationship with the one who orchestrated his dreams. I thought too of Moses leading the children of Israel. They were taken from their homeland, put into slavery, and ultimately cornered by Pharoah and his army on one side and the red sea on the other. Oh, but for their knight in shining armour who spoke through Moses in Exodus 14:13-14 KJV Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord , which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever. The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. Each of my examples from Disney to the bible have one thing in common, the fairytale ending hinged on a relationship. Looking for your fairytale ending? Work on your relationship. Adayinthelife:-)

Is It Worth Fighting For?

Twelve years ago I met a boy while I was an undergraduate at UCF. In these past 12 years, he and I both have shared so many things. Today as I'm thinking over 12 years of late night talks that turned into early mornings, weekends spent hanging out, encouraging each other when life got rough, and standing by each other when no one else understood... I see our life. I've lived so many important moments with him. I still remember the joy I had when he settled on an engagement ring. Then the empty way I felt when I wasn't there on his wedding day. I can remember the way he said "it's going to be ok" when the doctor made me feel like it just wasn't. I remember my last birthday when no one came except him because I changed our party weekend into one that revolved around church. It meant the world to me and I imagine it meant the world to Cheyenne who he carried around the mall for hours. Then there is what is before us now. Three years and 4 days have passed since we were face to face even though we spent the bulk of that time in the same place. I can't help but wonder is our friendship worth fighting for? Is it worth the silent treatment or the unspoken resentment? Because it is resentment. A simpler way to say it is fear or insecurity. I like those words, but it passed that point a long time ago. You see fear is often situational and insecurity while often irrational, can be overcome. Resentment is a feeling of indignant displeasure. I am fairly certain that's what we have here. Resentment that is so deeply seeded that nothing or no one except God Almighty can change it. Which brings me back to is it worth fighting for? In a word, no. It's the fight or the perception of fighting that has me at the point of throwing my hands up. I don't want to fight anymore. I want to laugh and have it be for real. I want to tell him that I'm finally ready, really ready to be committed. I've tried to say it to others, but they don't understand. Not really. I want to tell him, but telling him will mean that I'm still in the fight. Sigh.... I wasted some time a few days ago on this. It was wasted time because I spoke to someone about it who doesn't understand that I will not abandon him. It was wasted time because no matter how tired of fighting I am, I will fight for him. I will fight for him because right now even as I am writing this, I know he won't stop fighting for me. Adayinthelife:-)

Nobody's Supposed To Be Here

"How did you get here? Nobody's supposed to be here. I've tried this love thing for the last time." For a few days now, those words have popped up in my head off and on. I don't know about anybody else, but that used to be my song. I hear Deborah Cox singing her little heart out with me trying in vain to mimic her. It was something to see and hear me doing Deborah. In the days when the song first came out, I loved it because it captured all of the heartache that I had stored down on the inside. I can recall the feelings yet not specifically the names of the ones who appeared to have broken in and claimed my heart when in all actuality broken was the only thing that would linger. This time it's playing in my head, but it is not to signal an intruder. This time I hear it and it is just a song. It is just a remembrance. Wait a minute. That's true and untrue all at once.... I smile when I hear it so it has no pull or association with heartache. Nobody's supposed to be here isn't a whimsical thought or a plea either. Nobody is supposed to be here is an aha. It is a statement almost like "Beware of the dog". Those signs are placed on fences and in yards to let you know that if you step beyond that point the guard dog is going to attack. If you step beyond that point, you might get bitten, knocked down, or chewed to pieces. The bottom line is you will not get in. I can tell you that my fear of dogs is always heightened when I see those signs. My heart beats a little faster and I am certain that the guard of the house will in fact keep me out. I am so certain that I usually turn around and head in the other direction. I respect the keeper of the house. I respect that the guard's loyalty and love is such that I do not stand a chance. How did you get here? I imagine it looked like the door was opened. However, my suggestion is for you to read the warning sign. Nobody's supposed to be here. Adayinthelife :-)

What Is Your Objective?

What Is Your Objective? Take a moment and ask yourself, what is my objective? Why am I up on this phone at 5 in the morning? Why do I call in for the ministry calls on Sunday & Wednesday nights? Am I calling in because I want to serve or am I calling in to be served? Is my work with this ministry, or another ministry, or my job unto man or unto God? The bible says in Colossians 3:23-24 KJV And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. So again I say ask yourself, what is my objective? Am I growing in the knowledge of Christ for myself or do I hunger after the word so that I might serve it to the masses? When I sit at the table is it after I have been of service or is it only to be in position to fill my plate? The question again is what is your objective? The bible says in Matthew 20:26-28 NIV Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” If Jesus, Almighty God in the flesh, came to serve, should service not be the objective of all who call on Him? Should service not be the objective of all who profess His name? Should service not be the objective of every man, woman, boy, and girl who says "I am a Christian"? For, to be a Christian is to be Christ like. Jesus's life is the blueprint of what it means to serve. So, what is your objective? I hope you ate well. C. Brooks for Sunday Morning Breakfast~2/7/13

Hot New Promo!

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Today Is The Big Day!!!!!

Today we released our first single. Please make sure you support us by going to www.tcarrmusic.com and download the single. It's truly a bargain at $.99. And do be sure to share with your friends. As always this has been..... Adayinthelife:-)