What Are You Thankful For?

As children we were taught to say thank you when someone presented you with a gift or did something nice for you. We would get into trouble if we were caught receiving without speaking the necessary words of thanks.

"Tell her thank you" was something I heard more than I cared to. Don't get me wrong, there is something to be said about the tendency to speak words of appreciation. But shouldn't the emphasis actually be on being thankful? How many times have you said thank you without any appreciation at all?

I can tell you that I do it a lot. I say thank you without a thought because those words were a part of good teaching not because I am always appreciative of what has been offered. I do it most often with people, but I've also done it with God. I've said thank you Lord for saving me and followed it up with longing thoughts for my former life. I've said thank you Lord for my life and drove recklessly in my car in what seemed like an effort to loose it. Then there are the many times in the sanctuary where someone said to the congregation "tell the Lord thank you". Of course I obediently did without any thought whatsoever about what I was thanking God for.

I moved my lips because I was told to and I didn't want to be the person who did not speak. Now I wonder would it not have been better for me to be quiet. Should I have taken a moment to think about what I was thankful for? I just told you that I say it without meaning it. So, would it have hurt to really think about what I valued, what I appreciated, and what I was speaking thanks over?

Giving thanks should be genuine not a part of a routine learned in childhood or a call and response offered in the sanctuary. The question I'm asking myself now is how do I get to the place where I know the difference?

Adayinthelife:-)

Husbands, Wives, and Marriage

"I, (name), take you, (name), to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

These words are said at weddings to state one's commitment to marriage. They are uttered with tears, smiles, and a joy known only by those who are fortunate to recite them. Unfortunately, they are forgotten when he/she does not meet some standard of excellence that we adopt based on what our friends, family, or favorite star says. We decide that the person we promised to love unconditionally is no longer what we want. We deserve better. We deserve more. We deserve to be happy. We are so caught up in the ways that he/she is no longer good enough that we forget that at I do the two who existed became one.

If both people approached the marriage as their own words stated and as God intended, there would be no reason for divorce. Simply, if a wife had in her spirit that the person she was bashing was herself then she would alter her language, reevaluate her actions, and fight to preserve the relationship. If a husband had in his spirit that the person he was hurting was himself he would find ways to live peacefully, shift his priorities, and fight to preserve the relationship.

How awesome would it be for both parties to understand the meaning behind
Genesis 2:23 KJV

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

God intended for the two to exist in harmony. If we look to scripture
Philippians 2:3-4 NIV states

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

It is so important to apply this scripture to your marriage daily. Applying this would make the challenges in the marriage that much easier to face. He is looking to the interests of his wife. She is looking to the interests of her husband. They are united in the quest to sustain the marriage. They are united in the quest to honor God.

Adayinthelife :-)

You Didn't Have To Be What He Called You

The very first time I remember someone saying to me "oh what you saved and sanctified now huh" was about 8 years ago. A part of me didn't want to bear the weight of words meant to separate me from our friendship. The other part of me didn't even know what those words meant. I had heard them all my life, but that day they were thrown at me like an accusation and I was not guilty.

I had rededicated my life to God. I had begun the journey to right living. But I was not what he called me. I was not sanctified. Or was I? Was I some holy roller who thought that I was better than him? Had I become the person who looked down on others because they were not doing what I thought was right? The answer is flatly no. I had not become his image of a holy roller and I didn't have enough foresight to look down on anyone. But, I was sanctified.

I was sanctified because God allowed me to be reconciled to Him. I was sanctified because God decided to use me as one of His messengers. It was not by my design, but His. The path that I was on was not my desire or choosing, but my friend had decided salvation was a way to put me down.

I never imagined that trying to live right would mean that I was labeled. After a while, I started to accept it. I started to act like he was not good enough because he wasn't a Christian. He drank, smoked, and spent every weekend in the club. During this time, I was always ready with a list of things he could do to live right. I had a million ways to fix him, but I never approached him with the love of God. I never approached him with kindness. It was always with disdain and a holier than thou attitude. It didn't occur to me that I couldn't fix him. All of my ideas were great, but not a one mattered because I was not God. I had no real insight into the plan for his life. All I had was an excuse not to focus on my own.


Adayinthelife:-)

Lukewarm

Mark 11:22 NIV

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered.

I absolutely love the phrase say what you mean and mean what you say. In certain times in my life, I have lived by it. I would quote it to someone whose actions didn't line up with what their words indicated they would or would not do. I would say it as a warning to my students before allowing them to answer one of my pointed questions.

"Do not waste your breath with what you think I want to hear. Say what you mean and you better mean what you say." In those moments, I turned on my best angry teacher look and dared them to say something that had no weight. I know that this technique was effective. Many a confession came tumbling out shortly thereafter. But, I never thought to look in the mirror and say it to myself.

I am very good at expressing how things should be, but what happens when my own words don't hold meaning for me? I have encountered this in the past two weeks. I've shared stories about how God has helped me to overcome one obstacle after the other. They were all true stories. The problem is I no longer believed them.

I no longer believed that I was an overcomer even though that's exactly what I said I was. My words sounded like someone who was on fire for the Lord, but the power in their declaration fizzled before the words left my mouth and reached my own ears. I knew that God was indeed a deliverer, but I allowed my own shortcomings to infiltrate the message. I had also forgotten that delivering the message that God will deliver you was fuel for my faith and not just a series of words for my friends.

In those moments, my words sizzled like chicken in a hot frying pan. The problem was I had turned down the stove. I had shifted into the realm of the lukewarm Christian. You know the one who is neither hot or cold. The one who  lines up with God when things are going good, but turns a blind eye to Jesus when serving is too hard or inconvenient. I never thought it would be me, but facing the fact that it was helped me to repent and refocus.

Revelation 3:16 NIV

So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

Adayinthelife:-)

Are Your Words Tearing Down Your House?

Just be a man about it is what she said to her husband one fall day.
The words she said in haste would cost more than she wanted to pay.

It began with her acting like he was important only on days she would choose.
Then there were the words she never thought she'd use.

She called him names in anger. Deadbeat, cheater, and dog is what she said.
Speaking to one girlfriend and then the next talking out of the side of her head.

I can't stand his lying. He ain't nothing but a lowlife.
I can't believe I had a baby with that loser. He's the worse thing in my life.

Why did you let me talk to him? He's nothing but a mama's boy.
Won't take out the trash or nothing and he don't even have a car.

What would he know about talking to the kids? I told them to ignore him.
Why would they need to listen to him anyways? With no job he can't support them.

For hours she talked until she felt she was through.
Along the way her girlfriend listened and her kids did too.

They heard the way she spoke about their father and wondered to themselves
Why their mama never told anybody about the ways that he helped.

He taught them to ride their bikes, tie their shoes, the answer to 2+2
He even stayed up to tell them bible stories when mama was at school.

He told them about Joseph, Mary, and their son.
They liked hearing about Jesus because dad said he was the One.

Dad told them to try to live like Jesus because that is how he lived.
But mama said dad was no good not even for the kids.

Her words like angry missiles were tearing through the house.
She didn't know he heard them too and was planning to move out.

The note that he left for her crushed her to the core
I am a man he said, but I can't take this anymore.

You berate me, disrespect me, and dishonor my God
I am leaving this marriage. You can have the house

But my children belong to the Lord
Being a man means I cannot leave without them.


Proverbs 14:1 NIV

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Adayinthelife :-)

Learn to Lead

"Do better" I hear my mom say
but what does her better look like?

Does better mean that I keep my curfew?
Or maybe better means to stay home on school nights.

"Do better because you know better" is what I hear.
She's not showing me what's better only constantly yelling in my ear.

"Act like you've got some sense. You know what I told you to do."
But mama, I say, I've learned from watching you.

YOU know better mama, but you do exactly as you please.
Expecting different from me means that YOU have to learn to lead.


***Children know what we say, but they also see what we do. :-) ******

Adayinthelife:-)