I Finally Understand What He Meant

A couple of months ago my pastor told me to let it go. That's not all he said, but in the interest of time we'll stick with that. I thought I knew what he meant. I decided it was completely about this one thing that I had been obsessing about. This week I realized it was about that, but it was so much more than that. I had to let go of something that I hadn't even realized I was holding on to. I let go and this week has been so incredible. The best thing to come out of all of it is the bevy of handsome men. I feel just like a kid again. It's great. I wish I would've realized this a long time ago, but I guess I must accept that everything happens at just the right time.

Underneath It All

I had a very hard day today. I woke up expecting... well to be honest I don't know what I was expecting. I didn't anticipate the tears then and I wish that they would go away now because it does not make typing any easier. I am not in a sad mood right now. I think I can't stop crying because I held on to it for so long. I've been holding on to my feelings for him. I've been holding on, but today I let go. I let go because while we sat there eating and talking as friends there was a sadness for me. A sadness that I didn't want to feel anymore. I couldn't bear another minute of us not being honest. I couldn't bear another minute of us not being on the same page. So I cried. I cried right there in the restaurant. I was so embarassed that I walked away. But it didn't matter because when we left I couldn't stop the inevitable. I couldn't stop the tears that had been sitting there underneath the surface for the past 6 months. The tears helped me free myself. The tears helped me face myself. The tears helped me tell him that it wasn't about what anyone said. It's just how I feel. How I've probably always felt. How I would have known I felt had I stopped to look underneath all of the crap that was taking up space in my life.

Soul Winning

Tonight I had to do a lesson on soul winning at a function for the college students at my church. It was nerve racking because I'm shy and I didn't say half of what I wrote, but here it is for the world to see.

Soul winning

It is often said that the purpose of the church is soul winning. Most Christians will say that, but how many know what it truly means to win a soul?

Coming to Christ requires you to do more than say, “Lord, I believe.” Coming to Christ is about a life change. In order to win souls you yourself must first be changed so that you will effect change in others.

Think about when a person is out of work. We seek jobs. We visit businesses. We go to job fairs. We network and spend hours on online jobsites. We devote ourselves to our job search because we have been conditioned to believe that we can not live without a job.

We have to approach winning souls for the kingdom in the same way. We must seek out new people with the same fervor that we seek jobs. We must visit businesses in search of new souls. We must go to job fairs. We must network. We’re already spending half our lives online, but we must change our purpose for being there. We have been conditioned to believe that our lives depend on having or not having a job. Well, the life of the sinner depends on each of us.

Soul winning has at its core two main components: witnessing and teaching.

Witnessing is first and foremost because if we don’t tell them of God’s goodness, they won’t know. In order to be an effective witness you have to have a sincere desire to convey the goodness of God. You have to want what God has brought to your life for someone else.

If God took you out of the club, want that for them.

If God helped you walk away from alcohol and drugs, want that for them.

No matter what it is that God has delivered you from or blessed you with, you have to want that for someone else. The desire to see someone else’s life change as yours has is what fuels witnessing and witnessing is the 1^st step in soul winning.

Romans 10:14 says 

How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

Each of us has a duty to witness and be the bearer of good news.

The 2^nd component is teaching. Now what happens when you’ve gone out and witnessed to someone? The tell you they are saved and you rejoice because now you’ve “won” a soul. So your responsibility is done right? You’ve told them the goodness of the Lord. They’ve heard and been saved and now you are off the hook. You must remember that soul winning is about winning a SOUL. A soul is not equal to the person’s attention during a 15 minute talk. A soul is not equal to giving them a ride to church on Sunday. A soul is not equal to telling them you can’t ride shotgun with them to the party, but they should have a good time. When a soul is actually won, a life is committed to God. That means you cannot rest because you talked them into reciting the Lord’s prayer. A soul requires nurturing. Witnessing to them was the seed. Ensuring that they are learning the word of God will serve as both soil and water in our example. They must grow in their knowledge of God to truly be won to the kingdom. They can not grow without teaching.

So, the next time you are wondering if you have what it takes to be a soul winner ask yourself. Do I desire others to experience what God has done for me? Am I willing to ensure that they are being taught of the Lord? If you can answer yes, you are ready to win a soul. If your answers are no or I don’t know, call the pastor immediately. Your soul has not been won.

Seriously, think about this Proverbs 11:30 says 

The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.

Be wise in your Christian walk. The souls are waiting.

Thank you.

I like him....and him too....a shout out to Nika

I saw a friend's status message on facebook that said "I like him...and him too." I immediately laughed because I know exactly where she's coming from. I've been there a time or two and I've been with her through it a time or two in the past. No one ever told me what to do about the dueling feelings that I was having. Right now, I feel like I'm starting to like someone for all of his imperfections. It's a little bit of a weird approach I know. When I met him, it was an instant attraction. At this point those are not the things that make me laugh and smile. I'm noticing different things like the fact that he is so articulate in one moment, but he stutters in the next. He doesn't seem embarrassed about it at all and that is so empowering for me because I trip over my words when I'm nervous. I noticed something else about him today. He is a motivator and he's soft spoken. I hadn't noticed it before because I think that I was infatuated with the way he looks. He is smoking hot by the way. That is a funny statement too because the more I look at him and the more I dissect it, the smoking hot part becomes so small next to the other things.

He is not an island unto himself where my thoughts are concerned. There is another who is a sweet shelter for me. In him there are so many things to ponder....so many things I missed. Things that are now like dueling dragons in my mind's eye. I more than like him. I think of him always. Always....and then some more. It's different with him though. He makes me happy and tired all at once. He is a conundrum that I just can't give anymore time to today. This started out carefree and that's the way it shall end. I like him....and him too. What's a girl to do?