Timing Is Everything

I find myself in a bit of a pickle. I am feeling so liberated and so free. I had one of the best times this past week. I had the opportunity to share myself with a group of students. It was a part of my job. I had to teach them about work readiness. What impressed me the most was how much I was able to learn about myself by simply being open with them.

I played a game with them called my circle. The point is to share important things about yourself with the group in an effort to get to know each other. I shared something about one of my best friends. One comment led to another and another. Before the week was over I knew that those kids knew more about me than some of my closest friends. It felt great to be able to voice what was going on inside. It felt great and I thought what could be better than this?

The thing is, I've been being a bit of a coward. Life for me is great right now. It is truly an unbelievable feeling. The problem is it can be so much better. It's great, but it can be phenomenal. It can be everything that I've always imagined. I'm in position for everything that I ever thought I might want to come to pass. It is scary. It is a lesson about timing. My friend says that timing is everything and he's right. Timing is everything. You have to know when to move. You have to know when to speak. You have to know when to be patient. I know that it's time to move. The kids helped me to see when it would be time to speak. Patience....well, I'm working on that one. I feel so at peace because this is my time. This is my time. This is my time. :)

And they ask me if I'm in love....

I am a little annoyed right now because all of a sudden my decisions have to be dissected like the poor defenseless frogs in biology class. I am not some impulsive person who just does things on a whim. I think about things. I pray about things. I think about them some more. I am always looking to God for an answer.

Lately, I am sure about things. I am peaceful in my spirit. I am excited. I am full. I am bombarded with people who can't stand my beauty because they don't like what stares back at them in the mirror. I am bombarded with why would you do that? It simply doesn't make sense. It is annoying, but it is the nature of the beast. People can't help being haters. People can't help wanting you to feel down just because something in their sad little lives is not going their way. Well guess what.....

Your sadness will not make me wallow in pain. Your emptiness will not fill my soul to its capacity. Your complaints will not reach my ears. I am shutting the door and closing you out. I am relishing the fact that in each of my days there is happiness. In each of my days there is a new beginning. I am changing and when they ask me if I'm in love the answer will be YES!

What Could Be Better Than That?

When I originally started this over two weeks ago, it was to be titled "If God Is Not Responsible, Who Is". Then the thought shifted to "What's Love Got To Do With It?". This was followed by "Ride or Die", "The Power of Prayer", and most recently "Soul mates". I think that there is something to be said about all of those things and I will, but right now I'm just so happy with the move of God. I'm so happy that He's been showing me who to be connected with, how to speak out, and how to be silent. He's showing me how to walk by faith each moment of the day. It is awesome.

Last Saturday I was determined to drink a Mucho Long Island Iced Tea. I was determined because I had a long day and I wasn't mentally prepared to deal with someone who was in my presence. I ordered the drink, but God ordered my steps and it sat there for two hours while I talked about the intricacies of God.

Last night (Friday) I went to Chili's where I had previously spent many a drunken night. I had such an awesome time with my sister. We were sharing the blessings of God. It made me realize how much I am changing...how much I've already changed. Where I was before, no one dwells now. I am leading the life that I was meant to live. I can say that it is much easier than I thought. It is much easier to build, grow, and dream. It is much easier to see the promises that are waiting for me. It is much easier to walk unattended, unhampered. There are still people who want who I was. These are the ones that I dreamt about. These are the ones who will not share in the promise. The dream was sad, but the reality is A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

I am feeling uninhibited and free. I don't have anyone or anything holding me back from being the woman God created and it is truly the best feeling ever. I'm sure. I'm happy. I'm favored by God. What could be better than that?

What to do.....what to do?

What do you do when you feel like you are watching someone walk out of the will of God? Do you sit by and say a prayer (while doing nothing)? Do you look for ways to tell them this just does not feel right? Do you try to explain what it's like on the outside looking in? Do you pretend that it just is not happening? What do you do? How do you?

I've watched before and said nothing. I've shown support when I didn't want to. I've prayed and given unsolicited advise. I'm in such a paradox right now. I want to help. I need to help, but what do you do to stop someone from changing your life?

Friends, Family, and Associates

You know the devil is busy when all you want to do is write an open letter to your friends, family, and associates entitled "Why Don't You Just Kiss My A@@". Right now that's precisely how I feel but instead of doing that I'll say this
"The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace."'

Now, I hope that 2 things happen. The first being that those of you who act like children would stop. The second being that God will truly bless you and deliver us all from the things that are keeping us bound.