So Anxious

I have a little over 24 hours left before my great departure for the summer. I am beyond ready to go. I have been sitting in this wonderful class thinking why on earth did I sign myself up for this torture. The days have been long and almost unbearable. But, the thing that has kept me going is know that I am so close to the end.

This summer represents so many things. A part of it is freedom. If I am real with myself, it is more about getting back. I have been getting closer and closer to what I have affectionately termed the climax. The climax...the combination of what was and what is in front of me. I get goosebumps thinking about it. The climax...that point where well to be frank I climax. LOL! I love the play on words. I love that everything around me is changing. Everything is pushing me toward a place that will move me from my current state of happiness to the ultimate state of bliss.

Sweet

How would you know that you felt bitter if you had never known sweet? I learned some things this past week that has me in a new head space. I am still foggy on a few things, but I had the opportunity to sit and share with Adrianne, Camille, and Talethia. Each conversation was rich and nourishing and insightful. Each one of them lent me an ear to process the things that God had been showing me about me. I was bitter, but now I am free of that emotion. I am free of needing to feel like I missed out on something. I can now appreciate the things that I've gained. I can appreciate the mistakes. I can appreciate the journey. It is so freeing to know that all of it has made me a little bit wiser. And wisdom is truly invaluable.

Bitter

This morning I found myself wrestling with a feeling that I don't often have. I felt utterly and completely bitter. I tried to whisper a prayer about it. I tried texting a friend, but the feeling just kept lingering around like an unwelcomed guest at a party. That image is so annoying because my life right now is just that. I am in party mode. I have been celebrating so many wonderful milestones. I have been enjoying my days. I have just been so happy. But bitter has a way of sneaking up on you. Bitter doesn't knock on the door and ask permission to be let in. Bitter just creeps in through the window or a back door. Bitter has had me in a funk all day and I am desperately seeking a way for bitter to exit the building.

It's the Last Day of School.....

....let the tomfoolery begin!