Monday, August 18, 2008

Who knew?

Who knew that it was so hard for your best friends to know what's going on in your life. Tonight I'm talking to one of my favorites and he says something that makes me wonder what planet he's living on. Well, he said a couple of things. The first being that I'm totally hot on my blog pic :) The second was that I used to be really into my ex. I thought that was funny. Who said I was not still into my ex? True I don't really talk about him.... actually I don't really even talk to him. But, who said I was not still into him? I guess I missed that memo. Or maybe I wanted other people to miss it.

The thing is it's hard for me to put into words what I feel about him. Some days it's really clear to me. On others I wonder how did we get here? How did everything go from our first lunch date at Applebee's to the random conversations about siblings who never should have been a factor. I think about how it would have been if I hadn't turned around that day. If I had decided to go home instead of having lunch with him. I'd already eaten and I wasn't hungry at all....but I never could turn down food..... The truth is a little more complicated than that. I was looking for something then. I was trying to figure out what really worked for me. He was a part of what I found and a part of what I lost.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Question: Have you dated anyone since your ex? You might not realize your action. Meaning that you won't let anyone back in your life because of your ex. Sometime people give off vibes and they even know it. Hey another question for you. This favorite friend could be giving you Hints that he want to date you but you can't see it because you can't see pass your ex. I hope I'm on the right track. I hope I made a little sense.

Candy said...

Answer: No, I haven't dated anyone since my ex. At first I didn't want to just because I didn't want to. Then, it just wasn't practical. What I mean is I hung out with a couple of people, but it was clear that neither of those situations was in my or their best interests.

As for my favorite friend, I'm not a psychic, but I'm pretty sure he's not into me.

Anonymous said...

I know it's hard and you probably don't want to hear this but somethings we need to call the past and a lesson learned. Whatever happened with your last relationship and ex is just apart of life and growing. You learn from that experience and use that knowledge to have a better relationship with someone that has no past with you. They can't remind you of what they did or said or what you did or said in the past. You know the saying, "You live and you learn." Pray that God allows you to see the reason you had that relationship and whatever eperiences you went through and that you use that experience to better your future or even someone else's.

Anonymous said...

"You learn from that experience and use that knowledge to have a better relationship with someone that has no past with you."

I think that assuming that your the one has to be someone you don't have a past with is short sighted. Many of my friends have married (and are happy with) people they shared a past with. It is not always the case, but I think having an open mind means you have to stay open to ANY possibility.

I don't really know what went on between her and the ex so my comments are more about life in general.

Candy said...

People find my thoughts interesting enough to respond to...Yay!!!
Seriously, everyone's comments are appreciated. I think it's interesting because most people have no idea who I'm even talking about. Some people would say it doesn't matter. I think it does. With that said, I do "call the past the past" because our relationship as it was is over. I am also "open to ANY possibility" because I'm not God and I have no clue what the future holds.

There is a reason that we met, a reason that we dated, and a reason why we parted. I give credit to all of that. I like to tell people that I either like you or I don't. I don't have gray areas when it comes to people. The same holds true in my dating relationships. I either love him or I don't. I still love him and that's about all I can say about that.