When you love somebody you behave in the strangest ways. You let him talk to you about his stupid ex-girlfriends, you let him question you about what's going on in your life, you let him talk you half to freaking death until you miss Will & Grace. You let him do these things because you miss him and you enjoy the moments listening to the earnestness in his voice.....
I wonder why every time we talk it's about other people. The people that make up pieces of our lives as they are today. I don't want to go back to the way things were. There was a lot wrong between us then. We couldn't communicate. I felt like I couldn't make him happy. He was a nervous ball of energy that was driving me NUTS!!! What I want is something different for the way that we are now. We have been apart for some time. It was my call, but boy has he taken moving on to the next level. He has an ever changing carousel of women. I look at him and he seems happy. He seems to have found whatever it was that wasn't there before. I am happy for him and then I am not.
I try so hard to be philosophical about the whole thing. If he's happy, I'm happy for him. Truth be told that's a load of crap. I appreciate his happiness for what it brings him, but it is hurtful to me. I mean really, who actually wants to see the person they love with someone else? I'm sure I won't get anyone signing up for that club. I am a mess of emotions that I'm sure would come out easier if only I'd had my fix of Karen and Jack (let's face it they are way funnier than Will and Grace). I am without them and food so guess what, GOODNIGHT!
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