Last night I had the most pointless conversation with one of my former friends. I'd sent out a text letting some people know that we were having revival at our church. The end of the text said you don't want to miss this. Now, this individual thought it would be cute to respond "how do you know". I didn't think anything of it at first. I honestly didn't even know what the response was to. It was sent several hours later. I called him after church just for a point of clarity. He decides that it would be a good time to start the whole "just because you go to church...." conversation. I didn't want to have this conversation with him. We'd already had it countless times. He doesn't feel like going to church is important. He doesn't share my enthusiasm about God. He doesn't feel like I should only text him about church (for the record I text him about other things). You get the picture.
I ended up yelling at him and hanging up my phone. It was so frustrating to me because truly the beginning of the end started years ago. Years before I renewed my commitment to God. Years before my last two relationships. Years before I moved to Orlando for school. The beginning of the end was January 29, 1995. On that day our friendship changed in a way that could never be repaired. I recognized it then, but he wouldn't or maybe he couldn't accept the fact that our friend's murder changed our friendship. It was not a boyfriend, me going off to school, or God. It was murder. For years I felt sad about not feeling like I could be close to him. For years I tried different ways to repair something that was lost. Last night I decided to stop all of that. I can't change what happened and 13 years hasn't changed the way I feel. I just wish that we could at least agree on what was the beginning of the end.
2 comments:
Many times, we don't have to argue with people about things like this. The Word of God is more than adequate defense.
Paul wrote 13 letters, to the church, that alone should signal its importance. Also Hebrews 10:25 exhorts us to make sure we spend time together. 1) I don't know that it is biblically possible to justify not going to church; 2) Show me someone who is voluntarily separated from the body of Christ who walks upright; I just don't think that is a possibility.
I agree we shouldn't have to argue. Honestly I don't often know the way around it. I get so emotional and so offended that by the time a logical, biblical response comes to mind I'm already knee deep in the argument or I've hung up the phone. Come to think of it I usually just hang up because I feel it's best for me to stop talking in the moment. I don't always trust myself.
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