Incomplete

I couldn't have imagined how hard it would be to be at home. I thought that I would come back and have some great adventure. The problem is I came back and I'm reminded that I don't have a home. Yesterday, a friend of my sister asked if I lived in Sarasota. I told her I don't live anywhere. She gave me a puzzled look, but it is the truth.

How can I say I live in Atlanta when I don't have a life there? How can I say I live in Bradenton when here, I don't have a home? It is the basis of what has made being here so unsettling, but it is not what has been keeping me up the past few nights.

At first is was the marathon conversation that I had last week with Cameron, then it was the dreams. I should say it was the fear of the dreams, because truly I have not recently had one. It's just that I have been reminded of the first one. I have been reminded that when I asked God a question, a critical question, He answered me in a dream. He answered me and though it was clear I was confused. I didn't know what I was supposed to do because in my minds eye the answer did not satisfy the question.

The answer was received three years ago. I have asked the same question many times since then. In the beginning, God showed me the same answer. After a while, He stopped responding at all. For a long time I wondered why He would stop answering me. It was only a few days ago that I realized He hadn't stopped answering. Like any parent He simply grew tired of repeating what He knew had already been told.