I turn to the only other thing that brings me relief from my thoughts. I can't take much more of the thoughts running through my mind. I wonder what it means when he asks me how I feel. I wonder what it means when he tells me how special I am. I wonder what any of it could possibly mean. I wonder, but there are never any answers. There are always more questions.
Why would he make a life altering decision just because? Why does it still even matter to me? Why am I such a horrid person for even having thoughts about him? In the morning, I think of him. He's with me all day. I take him to work. He is a part of my every conversation though he is never mentioned. I am completely taken by him. I want to know what it means. I want to know what it's all for. Is he or isn't he?
I am so overwhelmed by feelings that are older than me, stronger than me, and so confusing to me. He's the first boy I ever loved. And the girl that he knew doesn't even exist. But the one that's here right now can't do anything except think of him and wonder what happens now.
No comments:
Post a Comment