I don't know why I'm writing because the things on my mind are not clear. The things on my mind are a jumbled mass of anger, disbelief, hope, and a dash of uncertainty. I keep hearing be angry but sin not. I am far calmer than I could be or perhaps far calmer than I should be. Calm is not a bad thing. I am just not certain how I can simultaneously be calm and angry. Uncertain, but hopeful.
The thing is it is beyond time for something to happen. It is beyond time for me to actually have some clarity. I told my friend I am not sure if God is shaping me or the devil is trying me. I talk to God quite candidly. I know He hears me. I am just not sure if these things are answers or tests, truths or lies, triumphs or failures. My very first sermon comes to mind for its title more than its content. Why are you here? I posed that question about 20 times during that sermon. I am asking myself now. Why are you here? Why are you facing challenge after challenge?
My question is searching for God's purpose in it all. I am not asking arrogantly or like I cannot face a challenge. I am questioning because I want to understand so that I can internalize my lesson and move forward. The only thing I am certain of is I have clearly missed something. I have clearly failed to grasp the concept that will lead to successfully passing the test.
Adayinthelife:-)
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