Two Faced

Many people believe that you can tell a two faced person because that person is usually someone who speaks one way in front of you and speaks another way behind your back. A two faced person is thought to be someone who appears to be a friend, but has ill will toward you. Some believe that being two faced is rooted in jealousy or insecurity. The person who is guilty of it lacks something that you have or just desires to pull you down. All of these are interesting and somewhat valid thoughts. But what happens when you find yourself admitting that you are the two faced person?

You are the one who is holding two different conversations about yourself. You speak highly of the person who you used to be. "She was bold and fearless. She would try anything and dare anyone to try her, but this new person is soft. She backs down when she is challenged and can't be trusted to stand up for anyone not even herself." You say these things to your friends. You say these things to your foes. Always you are saying these things to yourself.

You find ways to sabotage your own progress. Speaking of what your limitations are now that you are relying on Christ. Whispering in your own ear how hard it is to trust His plan. Praying to God to lead you and direct you, then telling yourself that you are the captain of your fate and that your life is in your own hands.

Your are envious of the respect that your words for God are given. Now that you realize they really are given there is no way that the praise belongs to you. Instead of celebrating the gift that God has given, you remind yourself of a time when your words commanded their attention.

But who really looks at themselves to say I am two faced? I am the problem. I am the one battling with who I think I am and who God wants me to be. I am the one talking behind my back. I am the one gripped by insecurity. The two faced person is me.

Adayinthelife :-)