You should never make a decision in the heat of the moment. Last night, I did just that. I should have taken a moment to vent or laugh or cry or whatever. Instead I wrote something that I regret. I didn't realize that writing it was out of fear. I'm so afraid to be hurt. I'm so afraid to be loved that I'd rather waste time pondering over a closed situation. I decided to delete the post last night. This morning I decided to honestly try. I decided to try to forget about those who didn't this or didn't that. I decided to focus on what is before me.
I realized last night that I don't truly even know what that is. I look at him and I see question marks. I see potential. I see failure. I see myself saddling him with too much because of what was before. My triumphs and my failures crowd my mind and I feel just so tired of even being aware of it all. He's so sweet to me and I want to give him a chance, but I don't even know how.
No comments:
Post a Comment