The Dating Game

I've been pondering dating. Actually, I've been obsessing about dating. It's not the way that sounds. The thing is, I need to know a reason for dating. I've asked several people lately and have received some good answers. The problem is I still feel conflicted about it.

I want to go out on a date. I want to go to dinner and the park. I want to sit on the phone and talk about absolutely nothing. I want to hold hands. I want to watch football, eat wings, and absolutely berate my favorite team for their asinine play. I want to be in the company of a man who's interested in me for who I am.

The problem is all of it feels like a lie. I have broad desires, but focused hopes. I have a layout, but no blue print. I don't want to be in the company of just any man. I want to be in the company of the one. The one who is destined to be my forever. I don't want to go through the motions of it all with someone else. Someone who may look perfect, feel perfect, but just not be perfect.

I don't want to open myself up and put my feelings on the line when I know that there will come a point when I have to walk away. I've never been the one who wanted to date for dating sake. I wanted to play for keeps even when I was just 13 and I had my first boyfriend. So someone please try to help me understand the point of dating someone when your heart longs for the one.

The last part was supposed to be the end, but I just remember some thoughts I wrote the other day while my students were testing. Hope you like it.

The Potential of Us (9/10/09)

I want to love you more than I want to breathe.
You are what has caused me to soar.
You are what allows me to succeed.
You are what makes me fear failure.
You are the one that I want to love.

I want to grow with you.
I want to change from the person who only imagined you.
I want to be the one who relishes you...
the one who bathes in your touch.
I want to experience you in waves and sounds.

Your love makes me want to exceed the reach of love's limitations.
The peak of my happiness becomes immeasurable because of my devotion to you.
Fly with me on this celestial high.
Allow yourself to experience the fullness of me loving you.