It seems that I am on some kind of once a week rotation with this now. Today was a regular roller coaster. I was happy and then my team lost and I was sad. I started watching 90210 reruns and I was revived. I realized I only have 3 left out of 94 and devastation set in. What is the use of free episodes if they are only going to give me a third of the series?
Tomorrow is a big day for me. Three years ago my sister invited me to Family and Friends day at her church. I thought, what the hell I'll go. I'd been so unhappy for a long time. I was searching for something then. I wanted to get married, but it didn't feel right. I wanted a sense of belonging, but no matter where I turned I just kept feeling empty and unsatisfied. I went to Family and Friends day expecting nothing. Well, that's not exactly true. I expected to be there all day. I'd visited my sister's church as a kid. The only thing I remembered was falling asleep, waking up, and wondering why on earth we were still there.
When I got to church that day, I was so happy that my sister invited me. I was so happy to stand up and announce that I was her guest. I was so happy because I knew then that I'd found a large part of what I was looking for. I found the place where God wanted to reconnect with me.
I was smiling again. I was happy, hopeful, and optimistic. I was looking forward to my life again. So many things have happened since that day. I can't explain how profoundly my life has changed. My outlook is different. My expectations have changed. I think about where I would be if I'd said no or if she hadn't asked. I am certain that God would have found another way to guide me home. Nevertheless, I thank Him for giving me a sister who thought enough to ask.
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