The Reason Why

The reason why I don't bother with certain things is because doing so is without purpose. All week I've been toying with should I or shouldn't I disclose the doctor's findings. Well today I did to one of my bf's and doing so only helped me to understand the reason why I didn't in the first place. The reaction was...stale is a good word to describe it. It was like a stale bag of cookies. On the surface they look great, but they'll break your teeth off if you try to bite into it. I feel like the teeth in the analogy. Well, not exactly. I feel the pain of struggling to get through. I feel the lingering affects of continually hitting against something that was just too hard to digest. I feel it, but I don't feel like I should have to. I share so much of what happens with me because that's just who I am. I'm guarded when I need to be, but in essence I'm the most open person ever. That's why it's so hard for me to admit that this time, I won't let anyone (else) in on what's happened. I won't and I hope no one feels offended. It's just that I don't view it as so tragic anymore and really I can't bear reliving the heartache over and over again. Cause at the end of the day, I'm gonna be just fine.