I am writing this in a semi sad state so I apologize in advance if it is offensive. Well, then again I don’t apologize. I am sad because people are not taking into account my feelings. The main issue right now is with boys feeling like they can tell me all of their deep little feelings and then walk away from the conversation like it never even happened. I don’t understand how anyone could do this. I really don’t understand this person because he knows me. He knows that I am sensitive. He knows that I am a thinker. He knows and still he decided that this great disclosure would just be ok. He never thought about what it would do to me. He never thought about how I would be uncomfortable with my own thoughts. He never thought about the fact that I may have always thought of him, always wanted to hear these things from him. He never thought about it and if he did he didn’t care.
If he cared, he would’ve remembered the night I sat on the curb crying when he was with that stupid girl. He would have remembered that not having a chance with him hurt me so bad that I wrote about it in a journal that for some reason he has as a keepsake. He would’ve remembered and realized that he shouldn’t tell me because I was into him. He would have realized that I’ve always thought he was great. He would have realized that I loved him and…. He just wouldn’t have told me if he thought about something besides the words coming out of his mouth.
P.S. I don’t want to talk about this with random people. I don’t want to know what you think or that you’re sorry or anything really. And if you happen to be the boy who decided to tell the truth, I don’t know what else to say to make you understand how I’m feeling so don’t be mad if it all ends up on this blog.
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