What is it like to live life outside of the closet? The closet is the place where you go to hide who you are on the inside. The place where you hide your true love and devotion. The place where you store your secret fears, wants, and needs. It is the place where you long ago decided to live your true life. Sometimes the closet is a place where we hide junk that we don't have time to clean up or are afraid for everyone to see. The closet is where I hid you Lord. The closet is where I hid me.
During my undergraduate years at UCF, I tucked you away from my classmates so that I could live the life. I wanted to drink and host parties. Everybody was invited to Thursday night live where we would play drinking games and act crazy. Everyone was welcome except you Lord. You would've ruined the vibe. You would've dampened the mood and made my friends think I was a fanatic.
I tucked you away from my boyfriend. It was easier that way. I mean if we were constantly talking about you, how would I have ever gotten him to stay?? But when he went home, remember I prayed and I prayed. And you heard me Lord. I know you did. Lord I tucked you away from my friends and my family too. I didn't have time for all that Jesus stuff, church, or anything else that Christians do. I was living my life trying hard to make it. Doing my best to show them I was somebody. I didn't have time for your agenda too.
I didn't have time for one year that turn into four before I realized it. I was so good at cussing, fussing, and drinking that even I forgot that you and I used to be close. I forgot that Your voice was one I knew better than my own. I forgot that I had once openly loved You and that the boxes, the baggage, the closet full of junk was stuff that I'd piled on You. It was stuff that I used to hide from You. At the time, I didn't know that all I had to do to uncover You was open the closet door.
Adayinthelife:-)
No comments:
Post a Comment