What Would You Do?

Have you considered the impact you would endure if you lost your mother? Have you thought about how life altering that would be? I used to consider it. At one point I even wrote a personal narrative that began "I remember the day that my mother died". I remember the looks on the faces of my classmates when I read that. I was writing a story about how the person that I'd loved so much as a little girl had left me. It took several pages before they realized she hadn't actually died. She was alive, though not well.

When I wrote that story, I was doing all I could to heal. I didn't want to think about who my mother was anymore. I wanted so much for her to just be who she once was. I considered how devasted I was to have lost what we once had. I considered how embarrassed I felt when I had to introduce her to my new friends. You know the ones who hadn't known her when she was my mom. I internalized all of my feelings, but I never considered hers. I never thought about how her life changed when she lost her mother.

My mom was a great mom because her mom was extraordinary. Grandma Til was everyone's center. We lived with her because my mom was just a girl when I was born. She was the baby in every sense of the word. She depended on my grandma. Their lives were completely intertwined. Then one day my mother lost her mother.

I remember being so angry with God. I was devastated... a little girl without her grandma. But my mom was without her mom. Without her center, her hero. I never really thought about what it was like for her. I blamed her for not being able to pull it together. But I don't know if I could. Could you? Could you wake up and go on with your life just like that? Could you raise your kids, live your life, make everything beautiful without your mom?

Adayinthelife:-)